I’m trapped in my mind.
Not that I want to put any ideas into the minds of terrorists or government secret service groups, but physical torture isn’t the worst that can happen to you. But I’m sure they know that.
The greatest pain–and pleasure–is always a mental thing. I’m feeling pessimistic today, so I’m going to focus on the sharper of the two, literally. Pain.
Stuck in your apartment with books you have already read, no WiFi, no other means of entertainment, all alone. How does that feel?
This sort of a situation is actually the worst you could get into. There is only so much you can imagine about the past and the future. There is only so much you can think about the world. There is only so much you can tolerate even of yourself.
In the end, your mind, left alone will throw up your darkest thoughts. Fears. Inhibitions. It’ll make you feel reckless. It’ll make you want to do things you never would do normally. The mind seems to have a default setting of thinking negatively; leave it alone long enough.
Maybe that’s why solitary confinement is the worst punishment in jails.
Thankfully, I’ve found a way to channel all of that negativity into this blog. And these last few minutes have taught me an important lesson.
People are important.
There have been so many times when I have wished I was away from people. People drain me, and after a while, I begin to get bored of company. I constantly want something new, and the best way to explore without fear is by yourself. It’s what I’ve often craved for.
I now understand that is not always a good thing.