For the last three weeks, I have been completely cut off from the world. No WiFi. No data. No network. All I had was me, my laptop (with a hard drive full of movies and shows) and the people in my hostel. But let’s forget the people and the laptop for now. Continue reading
Yes, I realize it’s been a while since I last posted something. My life has changed drastically in the last one week.
As I told you in my last post, I have moved to a new place. Dehradun. I have joined the Forest Research Institute, and I’m going to be doing my Master’s in Environmental Management. It’s going to be a 2 year course, and I’m going to be living here for those two years-
Now, it’s not going to look like this all the time, but you get the picture!
The campus is literally a forest. My hostel is situated right in one corner, and there is a very real danger of leopard attacks. Don’t believe me? Take a look-
This notwithstanding…the campus is huge! I need to cycle 1.5 kms either way to reach an exit, and my college (conveniently) is right next to one of these gates. So, everyday, I’m cycling close to 6 kms going back and forth from my college to my hostel.
My hostel is pretty cool! It is my first experience staying in one, and I’m glad to say that the room is spacious, and my friends are all pretty cool. There is a gym along with the hostel, as well as 2 badminton courts, a basketball court (with the hoop low enough for me to dunk), a volleyball court, a TT table and a tennis court. Could I ask for more?
My days, are jam-packed. My classes are from 9 am to 4:30 pm, with a hour and a half of lunch break. This will soon be followed by some research work that I’m supposed to do. I intend to make sure I play something or gym for at least half an hour a day. So by the time I finish dinner at 8:30 pm, I am ready to crash.
There is a major downside, and that is that the WiFi there isn’t great. Which is going to create a lot of problems, among other things, to write blogs. But! I will still persevere and I aim to post at least 5 blogs a month on each of my blogs. Wish me luck!
Soon, I’m going to be starting a new chapter in my life.
For the first time, I’m going to be travelling to a different city to live alone and study. The last three years I was in college, I’ve been a “day scholar”, someone who lives in the same city and only attends college during the day, doesn’t live on campus.
While I did move out of my parents place to live for a year alone, it wasn’t exactly like living alone because I could just come back home if I needed something, or if I missed home.
Nothing like that can happen now. And as I prepare to start this journey, there have been a lot of things I have had to learn and deal with. Continue reading
Yesterday, was a big day in my life.
I have always hated losing. It’s part of being good at sports, you hate to lose. Especially when you should win. Which you always should (or so you expect). Crazy, I know.
When I was a kid, losing would be followed by a lot of tears, tantrums and refusal to eat food. Refusal to do anything, really. This changed a little as I grew older. In my teenage years, loses would be followed by a more open, uninhibited display of emotions. I would scream in frustration at myself and the world in general, I would slam the ball on the ground (if the sport involved balls) and I would throw the racket around (if the sport involved rackets. Or bats, if it was cricket). Once my vocabulary got enriched, I wouldn’t shy away from throwing a few expletives here and there either (subject to my parents not being around). I would lose what little concentration I had, and go home with a few more bad loses.
Yesterday was one such day, when I did not play very well. As a result, my team kept losing. Grunts of joy and celebration from the opposition team each time did not help my mood either.
What surprised me was this. I did not do any of the things I described above. No display of anger, no tantrums, no bat throwing. In fact, I managed to channel this into my performance for the first time in my life. In one of the games, I managed to single handedly help my team win by bowling brilliantly and orchestrating a run out when the opposition team needed 2 runs to win of 2 balls.
I was shocked. Pleasantly shocked. I do not know how this transformation happened, but it was a very happy revelation for me. I was exalted to realize that I have finally gained control over my emotions and I have learnt how to channel them.
A win of the mind over the heart that was always worn on the sleeve.
I have always believed in God because I was told to believe in Him. Because I thought it is a given that He is there, watching over me and guiding me in times of need. I only needed to call Him out, ask Him for his help and He was there.
But in the recent few years, that belief dwindled. I found myself wondering if he even existed. The basis for this questioning is still not clear to me. But I found Him wanting in some respects. More than anything, I was unconvinced by how there can be a being who is all powerful and can do anything that He wishes. I did not like that idea. “Why would there be some entity like this? What is the purpose? Surely it’s not JUST to serve the needs of the human race.”
There is no other living being in the world that has the ability to even believe in Him. It’s only us, humans, who have the consciousness and the mental ability to construct an image for God and believe in Him.
I heard this for the first time last year from a great speaker and a rival for a few hours, Aditya Maheshwaran.
You have to lose yourself in something, to get good in that.
Or words to that effect. I don’t remember the exact words because I was to busy focusing on my speech, which was immediately after his.